The majority of people who come to see me have experienced a trauma in their life, many would not label it as such. A previous blog (https://louisecoughlin7.wixsite.com/website-5/post/my-clients-are-amazing) talked about the difference between big Traumas and little traumas . Sometimes it is the little ts that people don’t recognise because they are just ‘normal life events’. A normal life event does not stop something from being a trauma. For example if someone had an injury at work and required medical attention they would probably be referred to the trauma service (for the physical trauma). Someone, who, as a child, fell off their bike and scraped their knee, would probably never need to go to hospital but they have still experienced a trauma to their skin, in this instance it may be easier to heal on it’s own. Suppose that child didn’t tell anyone about falling off their bike but they’d seen people putting a plaster over a cut so they did that. Imagine no one noticed as they covered it up with tights or trousers. What that child hadn’t done is clean out the grit, make the wound clean, increasing the risk of infection...the wound can’t heal itself if there is a plaster stuck over all the mess underneath.
Psychological trauma is similar...some events mean an immediate referral to a psychologist or counsellor, or at least a recommendation to work with someone. Some traumas go unnoticed maybe because the person experiencing the trauma doesn’t tell anyone, or because they don’t recognise that they have experienced a trauma, or they think ‘least said soonest mended’ or maybe other people around them are struggling themselves and support is not given. Whatever the reason a plaster may get stuck over the top of the wound. The plaster covers over the injury but inside the trauma is doing horrible things and causing problems to the person.
Starting therapy is like ripping the plaster off, leaving yourself bare to clean that wound and let your mind and body heal. At 15 I stuck a plaster over a wound, at 40 I ripped it off. At times during my recovery I wished I could stick it back on. Lots of emotions that had been squashed down for years resurfaced, I had to question who I was and who I wanted in my life. This was not easy. Initially I saw a counsellor, she helped me through that initial ripping off of the plaster and to deal with how I felt about the people in my life. Without that space I would have struggled. I have great a husband, fantastic children and wonderful friends but having someone away from my support network was invaluable.
I later delved into EMDR and this was when I was finally able to put my traumas to bed. Was it easy? No. Imagine a roller coaster, slowly going up at the start teetering at the top then whizzing down to a massive dip where you feel a lurch in your stomach, up and down, up and down. This was me and my emotions both in and outside of the sessions. It’s a long time since I’ve been on a roller coaster but I remember wondering why I started it whenever I made that initial ride upwards (thinking the Big One at Blackpool!) I always ended a roller coaster ride with an adrenaline rush...I wouldn’t quite compare EMDR to that but it does change how you feel and think about yourself and others. My wound is healed. Do I think about my trauma? Sometimes. Does it give me the same emotional response? No. Do I still blame myself? No.
EMDR is hard, I won’t kid you. All therapy is hard. Would I recommend it? Most definitely. Be kind to yourself.
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